My Only Chance
by daisychains123
Summary: If you find the girl who says that Remus then don’t you let her go… not for anything or anyone, you understand?”Remus looked at James, and nodded.If only you knew Prongs... you’re the reason I don’t have her to hold in the first place... RLLE
1. Chapter 1

Remus Lupin sighed, turned over on his bed and glared into his pillow. He had come back from Hogsmeade early… he couldn't stand it. Today only came once a year and Remus always dreaded it. Valentines Day, he was sure, was created to rub in his face that he would never be loved. After all, who could love a werewolf?

So he had come back to the Gryffindor tower in hopes of moping alone… James was out with some Ravenclaw, trying to make Lily Evans jealous, Sirius was out doing what Sirius did (which he really didn't want to think about) and even Peter had a date with a sixth year Hufflepuff.

It wasn't that he was ugly- quite the opposite in fact… he may not be ruggedly handsome like Sirius, or as popular and funny as James, but in his own right, Remus Lupin thought he didn't look half bad… except for the scars. And the cause of these scars… They were the reason that right now, Remus was not out with a girl… Ok, they were the second reason. The first being that the girl he liked didn't ask him, and even if she did, he would have had to say no. And not just because he was a werewolf either; no- he knew, that if he were to go out with this particular girl, his friends would hate him forever- and he couldn't stand that. Besides- Lily Evans deserved someone much better than him…

Remus' dreary thoughts were interrupted by the door banging open. He sat up on his bed, expecting to leave so Sirius and his date could stay here and 'talk'… yeah. Right.

But instead he was greeted by three worried looking boys. The tallest one had dark hair, and mischievous dark grey eyes. The boy in the middle had messy black hair, and hazel eyes framed by square glasses. The last boy was slightly chubby, and had dirty blond hair and watery grey eyes.

"Ah what do you know Prongs- he is still breathing!" said Sirius as he jumped onto Remus' bed, nearly squishing the boy in the process.

"Guess I owe you five dungbombs Pads…" said James as he plonked himself down on the bed next to Remus'.

"What are you guys doing? Why aren't you still in Hogsmeade?" said Remus as he made room for Sirius' legs as he had spread all over the bed.

"Ah, now that's not fair." said Sirius frowning.

"What's not fair?"

"He had spent the entire trip up here trying to figure out what to say- and he came up with 'why aren't you still in Hogsmeade?'" said James smirking.

"Oh… well I asked first- why aren't you guys in Hogsmeade?"

"Well that girl Sandra-"

"Sarah"

"Right Sarah- well she wouldn't shut up! All she talked about was herself- and I didn't care about what the hell her owls name is- I just wanted to know if she could use that tongue for anything other than talking…" said Sirius annoyed.

"So you left her?"

"After finding out that the answer was no… awful kisser… like a bloody goldfish…"

Remus shook his head, before turning to James and Peter.

"What about you two?"

"Well I got stood up…" said Peter cheerfully- he hadn't really wanted to go with the girl anyway, only did it because he didn't want to hurt her feelings

"And I walked out when I realized that Evans didn't even come to Hogsmeade..." frowned James. "Why didn't you guys tell me?"

Sirius snickered and Remus shrugged saying "thought you knew Prongs"

"Anyway- why did you come back here? You could've gone to Zonko's or-" started Remus, but was interrupted.

"We came here to stop you sulking" said Sirius with a pointed look at the werewolf.

"I do not sulk… I brood." Said Remus, not meeting his friends gaze

"Same thing; and we decided to come cheer you up…" said James, pulling out a bar of…

"Is that strawberry mousse filled chocolate?" asked Remus his eyes round.

Peter chuckled and Sirius grinned.

"Thought you might like some"

If there was one thing Remus loved more than his friends- it was chocolate- and if there was one thing he loved more than chocolate, it was strawberries… so strawberry mousse filled chocolate was like a little piece of heaven he could pop into his mouth...

"Thanks heaps guys… I didn't know they had them in this size?"

"We asked for the biggest block." said Sirius

Remus grinned and after offering everyone else a piece, took a bite, everyone moving onto their own beds as they ate.

Remus popped a piece into his mouth, smiling.

"Mmm...Yummy… I've decided- this chocolate is the second most beautiful thing in the world…"

Remus realized his mistake almost instantly, and blushed, adding to the problems that one Sirius Black was about to cause.

"Ohh??? What- or WHO is the first???" he asked, eyes alight with curiosity

"I'm not saying…"

"Come ooooonnnnnn Moooooonnnnnnyyyyyyy!!!" whined Sirius

"Who's your bird Moony?" asked a grinning James as he sat up

Remus shook his head. "There's no point in me telling you because it could never happen…"

Sirius' eyes dulled, and James and Peter shared a look.

"So that's why you're up here then… because…"

"It's alright to say it James. I will never find someone who will accept and love me for me… See? It's not that hard to say" Remus said trying to ignore the tightening in his throat.

"We accept and love you Remy… you're our brother…" said Sirius quietly, and the other two nodded.

Remus smiled sadly. "That's not what I meant and you know it Sirius."

They were all quiet for a moment, before Peter asked "What's she like?"

Remus could almost see Sirius ears perking, and James turned his head to face him.

"She's… amazing. Smart, kind, beautiful, caring, accepting… she's everything I could ever want…"

"Then she'll accept you Remus." Said Peter with finality.

Remus was silent for a few minutes, before saying. "You know- I've always had this- this _dream _I suppose, where I would tell the girl I loved 'I'm a werewolf' and she'd say 'No- you're Remus Lupin'…"

He was greeted by silence, and he added quickly "I know it's stupid-"

"No," said James looking at him. "It's not stupid. If you find the girl who says that Remus- then don't you let her go… not for anything or anyone, you understand?"

Remus looked at James, and nodded.

_If only you knew Prongs... you're the reason I don't have her to hold in the first place... _


	2. Chapter 2

Lily Evans hated Valentines Day. It was just that simple. With the pink confetti and hearts everywhere… it was enough to make you sick…

But if there was one thing she hated more than Valentines day, more than _anything_ else- it was James Potter.

James bloody Potter- who asked her out every day for the past two years- at _least_ twice. Why couldn't he leave her alone? She didn't like him- with his messy black hair, and arrogant smirk… she preferred soft smiles and honey coloured hair and… she blushed as she once again drew up a perfect picture of the man she liked… scars on his hands and all.

Remus Lupin was kind, and thoughtful and funny… he was everything she wanted, and yet, she couldn't work up the courage to ask him out. And, she was fairly sure that he'd say no- not because he didn't like her, but because even if he did- James Potter had 'claimed' her, and anyone that showed interest in her immediately became worse than Voldemort…And Remus loved his friends… She had always felt as though Potter, Black and Pettigrew were closer to Remus because they knew something… secret about him. She had often wondered what secret this was, but she could never figure it out.

Lily was sitting in the common room, finishing her charms essay whislt everyone else was at Hogsmeade; when the entrance hole opened. She looked up and then back down to her essay, face showing her disgust as someone sat next to her, two of his friends on the other couch.

"What do you want Potter? And before you ask me out- the answer is, as always, no."

"I wanted to know why you weren't in Hogsmeade today."

"Because I was here- doing my homework…and if that's all- get lost."

"Now Evans, that's not a very nice way to treat your future husband" said James pompously.

"Over my dead body Potter"

"Ouch Evans- I'm stung"

Lily groaned, deciding she would never get work done down here, and grabbed at her homework, before retreating upstairs to the girls dorm.

Why couldn't he just leave her alone?


	3. Chapter 3

Remus sighed as he put down his book. It was nearly ten o'clock, the others were asleep in bed, and he was doing his best to keep his thoughts from Lily- But it wasn't working…

All he could think about was her… her kind emerald eyes, and her fiery red hair to match her temper… and how James would react if he ever found out…

_But James told me not to let anything or anyone stand in my way… but then, he wouldn't of said that if he knew who I was in love wi- … in love? _

Remus buried his face in his hands.

_I'm in this way too deep…_

He was interrupted by someone sitting down next to him, and he looked up to see Sirius in his pyjamas.

"Remus, if it's troubling you this much- I think you should just tell her"

Remus' head jerked up.

"Tell her what?"

_Please don't let Sirius know I love her… _

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "Tell her that you're a werewolf… and if there's something else you want to tell her- then go ahead…"

Remus slumped down onto his bed, and Sirius took this as a sign of worry.

"If she's the one for you- then she'll understand… if not, then at least you know, and you can move on…" Sirius went back to his bed.

_That's it! I'll tell Lily I'm a werewolf and she'll… she'll distance herself from me… and I can finally get over her…_

Remus nodded, and stood up. He was going for a walk…

Lily growled as she turned over in her bed again. She had been tossing and turning like this for nearly half an hour, and she still couldn't get comfortable…

Nor could she get her mind of a certain Marauder…

"Lily quit with the noise" mumbled a sleep ridden Alice Prewett.

"Sorry" Lily whispered, and turned onto her back.

_I need to stretch my legs… _and with that thought she got out of bed, and after putting a jumper and jeans on, grabbed her sneakers and made her way down into the common room. After slipping on her shoes, she walked quietly out of the portrait hole.

The fat lady smiled, and said with a wink "He just left"

Lily raised an eyebrow, but didn't think on it, deciding to just wander the school.

She had not met anyone so far, which she thought strange, and she was just passing the Great Hall when she heard someone stub their toe.

"Ow!" cried Remus, before placing a hand to his mouth, hoping no one had heard him. His luck, it seemed, had run out for he heard someone say quietly "Who's there?"

He turned under the invisibility cloak he had borrowed from James, and felt his heart throb painfully.

"Lily?" he asked as he pulled the cloak off.

"Remus? What are you doing down here?" she said as she walked to stand next to him

"I- couldn't sleep" he said, with a faint blush.

"Oh. Me neither…" Lily trailed off, before her eyes landed on the cloak in his hand. "Is that an invisibility cloak?"

"Hmm? Oh, yeah- It's James'… you wont tell, will you?"

Lily scowled at James' name, but shook her head.

They sat down at the Gryffindor table, and Remus tried his hardest not to shuffle closer to her. They were quiet for awhile, just staring up at the ceiling, which reflected the night sky beautifully, the crescent moon glowing faintly down upon them.

Lily watched looked down from watching a particular star flicker and glanced at Remus. He was still gazing up, and his face was blank, but his eyes showed a battle of emotions. He looked down again, and sighed, looking over at her, and was apparently surprised to find her watching him.

"Remus-"

"Lily-"

They both started at the same time, and Lily smiled and said "you first"

Remus sighed and looked to his feet. "Lily… there's something… well two things I have to tell you… but after you hear the first one your going to run away screaming…"

"I highly doubt that Remus" Lily said, studying his face, trying to figure out what he was telling her.

"Yes, well... I don't doubt it… I've never told anyone before- James, Sirius and Peter just kind of… found out; and I'm so lucky they didn't run away… didn't tell the school…"

"Remus, what is it?"

"I'm a werewolf." Remus said looking up and meeting her eyes.

Lily felt her jaw drop, and Remus looked away.

_Say something! _Her mind screamed at her _Its still Remus! He trusts you with the biggest secret he's got and you sit here like a-_

"Oh… well that's… unexpected..." she said after a minute of shocked silence.

"Its fine if you don't want to be near me anymore- I understand.."

"What!?" said Lily in outrage

Remus met her eyes again, and he looked confused.

"Well, most people don't want to hang out with a werewolf!"

"You're not a werewolf" said Lily before she could stop herself.

Remus froze, but his mind was going a mile a minute…

_Please don't finish that sentence… please, please, ple-_

"You're Remus Lupin…"

Remus opened his mouth to argue- to make her see sense… to make her run before he did something he wasn't entirely sure he'd regret…

But Lily cut him off "Yes, you turn into a wolf every full moon… but the rest of the time you are Remus Lupin…and I know for a fact that you would never do any of the things a wolf would do"

_Please don't be saying what I hope you're saying…_

Lily moved closer, and didn't miss Remus tensing further.

"… and that's good enough for me"

"Lily… I can't… James is my best friend Lily…" Remus said sadly.

"If James is your best friend, then he'll understand." She breathed as she moved closer

Remus couldn't help but lean in as well.

"He loves you" he whispered

"And I love _you_" she said

Remus felt his breath hitch in his throat, and before he knew what he was doing, he had crashed his lips onto hers… and then

"Remus, Li- WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO DOING?"

Remus and Lily broke apart to see Sirius standing in the door way, Marauders map in hand.


End file.
